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3 consequences of being too helpful for your kids

June 7, 2018

Do you love your kids? Of course, you love them! Every parent wants the best things for their kids. They also want them to be safe, healthy and happy. However, what many parents don’t understand is that their children are constantly growing and developing and in order to stimulate their proper progress we should give them some liberty to explore, learn new things and be active. Obviously, parents must help their children with these things, but being too helpful can do more harm than good. If you are still not sure how being too helpful can have a negative impact on your kids, keep reading because we will highlight 3 consequences of such behavior.




1. You deprive your kid's opportunity to learn

Kids are learning from their earliest age. They are like little sponges that absorb knowledge by observing, repeating behavior and in many other ways. Of course, parents are here to help them understand how the things around them are working. But, there is one mistake that many parents do – they are not patient and they ignore their kid’s questions. For instance, if your kid asks you to help to put on his socks because he finds it difficult, you should not automatically do it for him. In stead show and teach him how to do it - and this will soon be a win-win-situation. So, in this case, it’s the lack of time that parents feel that makes them too helpful. Numerous surveys have shown that parents today have less time for their kids, but this is not an excuse.


2. Your kids feel “I can’t do it" and "I’m not good enough”

If you are too helpful for your kids they will not get the feeling of  "I'm capable!" and your kids will start doubting their own abilities. But, what is important in situations like this is to let your kids know that they can actually do things on their own. By helping them all the time they won’t be able to see this. You should explain how important it is to keep trying. What is even more important is to show them your support and love. This is the only way to raise resilient kids.

3. Your kids can end up with low self-confidence

If someone is constantly helping you and doesn’t allow you to finish any task, you will naturally start having doubts about your capabilities even if you are just a kid. Our kids will think "Why should I try, I'm sure I get it wrong anyway". If you are too helpful as a parent, your kids will develop low self-confidence and self-esteem and they will become adults that will avoid responsibilities. 


These are just some of the negative consequences of being too helpful as a parent. Of course, parents need to be around their children and spend more time with them. This is true for both children that are growing in families with two parents and those living with one of the parents. According to many studies, the divorce rates all over the world are growing, but this should not be a problem for the proper development of children.


Avoid these common mistakes and raise resilient kids that will be able to become successful and healthy adults. 



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