Got a meltdown? Who me? Or my kids?
As a mom you sometimes feel like just throwing a tantrum, throwing yourself on the floor and just start screaming because you feel so tired, stressed out and frustrated. You just want to act like a 4 year old child and sometimes we do. Because being a modern mom sometimes feels like an endless ocean of demands. Demands from your kids, from your workplace, from your friends from social media and from yourself. But you have to remember, that you are just a human. And a human does get frustrated and tired sometimes and that's why you need a few tools to pull out when you can feel a melt down it's coming.
These three tips will help you to calm down when your blood is boiling. They will help you to get through your mom melt down faster and even have a fewer amounts of meltdowns.
1. Stop and leave the situation.
Changing the scenery can be so liberating and the best thing to do. Because staying in the situation when you're all aroused doesn't do any good. The best thing you can do is actually to leave the situation and to go somewhere else. Tell your kids “Now I get really mad and I just need to calm down for two minutes”. This gives you some space to think, to be yourself and to calm down knowing you don't have to deal with your children for the next couple of minutes. After just a couple of minutes you will feel more relaxed and can continue in a more rational and and nice way.
2. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.
Focus just on your breathing will calm you down. Take 5 deep breaths and focus especially on the exhalation - making the exhalation very slow and long. This will make you relax very quickly. It is scientifically proven that breathing will force you to be mindful and will increase calmness. You can even do this when you were still in the same room as your children. Just tell your children “I just need to take a few breaths to calm down”. Maybe overtime your children will adopt this way of coping with one's feelings.
3. Put the situation in perspective.
Is it a very important situation and very important conflict that you really need to step into and use a lot of on lot of energy on? Or is it not that important? is it just a little simple ordinary everyday conflict? Sometimes it’s better just to let go and not spend all your time and energy on unimportant things. Maybe you are just about to have a meltdown because you were tired, your children are tired you are stressed. And that's why it feels so overwhelming and important right now. But do the “helicopter test” and see it all from above. Is it important to waste your precious energy on this conflict? If not, choose to let go! You can even say it loud to yourself “I choose to let go of this situation”. And magic will happen when you literally tell yourself “I choose to let go. I choose to focus on something else.”
Use these three tips when ever you are about to have a meltdown and you just want to calm down and use your energy for something else. And overtime this may be your new way of reacting when you feel your blood is boiling. And then it will be a little nicer and more joyful to be you.