The scene for the perfect day to set. Finally you have some time you can spend together and you are really looking forward to having this loving, joyful quality time with your kids. Maybe you have had a really stressful week, and you feel you’ve been a little too busy, a little too impatient and a little too distant. Now you finally have the opportunity to connect with your children and to catch up.
But when you finally get to the point to spend this quality time together it turns into a nightmare! It's like your kids are not even enjoying the activity you planned. You start reprimanding and your kids start fighting. Maybe you are wondering what on earth went wrong? Why can't we just spent some nice time together?
It could be that you are making one of these three mistakes:
1. You are reprimanding your children.
If you are taking the controlling mom approach into your quality time your kids will respond to it. Maybe it's just some small ordinary things like “sit still in the sofa” or “don't talk with food in your mouth”. And you think it's your job to reprimand these things every single time you've experienced them because you are the parent and you are responsible for how they act. But forget about it for a minute. You have plenty of other opportunities to correct your children's behavior. So make your controlling mom eyes look in another direction during this quality time and focus on creating a nice atmosphere where no one is watched, judged or reprimanded.
2. You have planned it all out.
You have planned an activity based on what you would like or based on what you think your children would like. The problem is that you’ve chosen for them and miss out on using the opportunity to engage them and make them feel heard and significant. Use this this quality time to “visit your children's world”. Talk to them about what they would like to do together. In this way you’ll show your interest in their opinion. And in that way they will be more motivated and engaged in the activity you are going to do together.
3. You forgot to set the boundaries.
Do your children know when you're going to spend some time together? And do they know when it's going to end? You can prevent a lot of conflicts by creating more predictability around the activity you're going to do together. Let your children know what they can and expect and tell them what you expect of them. You set the boundaries and decide when you're going to spend your quality time together, and your kids decides what you can do in this special family time. In this way you will ensure you're all on the same page .
Avoiding these three mistakes will enhance the opportunity to have a really connecting, loving and fun time together. And using these three simple tips will make it a lot more fun and joyful for you to spend time with your children. And it will be a lot more fun as well for your children to do quality time with you. So go have fun!...and don't forget to tell your children how much you enjoy spending time with them!